The Makings of a Crazy Person
by Lokaia
Summary: Everyone's gotta start their writing somewhere. My first SC fanfic, WITH commentary! Rated for language.


Title: An Unexpected Ship Guest - Commentary!  
  
Author: Lokaia  
  
Rating: R for language  
  
Summary: Everyone starts somewhere, right? This is the first Space Cases fanfiction I ever wrote - the first of an extremely long, extremely bad series, and the origin of the name Lokaia. A MARY SUE! Hey, nobody's perfect, and you all knew I was dumb.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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((Okay, so I guess I should explain this. My most commonly-used nickname on the internet is Lokaia. The following is blamed entirely for this. I began this series almost three years ago. THIS IS A BLATANT MARY-SUE. It's embarassing really. I usually can't bring myself to read these, much less show anyone else. I figure I can start the healing process by showing this to other people while making fun of myself for it, too. That might help. Feel free to be as mean as you like. Because this is.. it's just.. I'm embarassed to be associated with it.))  
  
An Unexpected Ship Guest ((First off.. lamest. Title. Ever.))  
  
"What is that?" ((Even then I had this weird urge to always begin everything I wrote with dialogue. That has yet to change))  
  
Radu turned to where his friend was looking. Harlan was pointing to a small ship, coming close to the Christa. Radu shrugged, a habit he'd picked up from Harlan. ((Because lifting the shoulders in a sign of indifference is a human habit completely foreign to Andromedans)) "I don't know. I'll call Commander Goddard." He got up from his post and used the intercom just as Rosie intercepted the ship's call. ((Beep beep!)) She looked up at the rest of them. "Do we answer?" ((Because, apparently, the ship sends a call that has no words. Or any sort of intelligible signal))  
  
Suzee put her hands on her hips. ((Because hips are EVIL!! I really hated Suzee when I wrote this. Ironic since I couldn't even remember the show..)) "Well, why not? We'll fill the Commander in when he gets here." ((Oh yeah, THIS is a GREAT idea..))  
  
Bova glanced at them all, darkly. ((Actually, I still use this phrase. Bova needs more adjectives)) "Why not? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because it could be the Spung trying to trick us by using a smaller ship we won't recognize. If you answer this call and don't tell Goddard, we're all gonna die!" ((I hate this line sooo much. It's the lamest Bova-rant in the history of time. He's only using ONE example of death! WTF??)) He considered that. ((think think)) "Actually, we're probably gonna die anyway, so go ahead." ((A little better..))  
  
Harlan nodded, and Rosie reluctantly made the connection. ((Since when does Rosie 'reluctantly' do anything?? And when did Harlan become the chief role of authority?)) An alien male filled the viewscreen. ((Whenever I read this now, I envision the KOOL-AID pitcher, slowly filling with red kool-aid)) He had large, pointed, upswept ears ((Current elf-obsession)) and a goofy grin on his face. ((Males = stupid)) "Greetings, friends!" he called loudly. (("Please, take me to your leader!")) Radu winced. ((Huzzah! Transition sentences!)) "I am Jalan, Lord of the Elvian people, and this is my female, Mayana!" ((Elvian.. Elves.. omiguh, I am sooo witty. Oh, and showing property of women right off shows how 'feminist' I was at this time. Very males = bad)) He indicated to a woman sitting in a chair next to him with ears slightly smaller but the same in other aspects. ((Large. Pointed. Upswept. ..Capable of hearing)) She had very short black hair ((Later on, I think she became blonde.)) and was alsogrinning. The screen turned back to Jalan. ((How did he get control of the Christa's viewscreen?)) "We must speak with your leader!" (("We come in peace!"))  
  
The kids were taken aback by his strange manner and loud voice. "Uh.." Harlan said intelligently. (( I still like-and use-this line)) "Hold on a sec, k?" ((Behold my spelling abilities of 'okay'))He cut the connection just in time to see Goddard sliding through the jump tubes unsteadily. ((Well, he took his dear sweet time)) He had just straightened up when Ms. Davenport came whizzing through behind him, knocking him over. ((WHIZ!)) They stood up and glared at each other before turning their glares onto the students instead. ((Blatantly showing that they'll be paired together later)) "Okay," Goddard said. ((wince that's three 'blah said' usages IN A ROW. Pet peeve. A thesaurus is my best friend now.)) "What's the problem?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much," Bova said. "Just Harlan making contact with a potentially dangerous and unknown species. But hey, nothing to worry about." ((Bova always was fun to write for..))  
  
Goddard whirled on Harlan. "Band!" (('If Bova is not kidding, I will call your name angrily until the end of time!'))  
  
The young human thought fast. "Oh, come on, Commander, you wouldn't kill one of your students while our new species is watching would you?" ((Omiguh, the punctuation monster has attacked! Also, I thought then-and still do, considering my writing 'talent' at the time-that this was a pretty in-character thing for Harlan to do)) Then he quickly brought the connection back and Goddard was left staring into the smiling faces of their new "friends."  
  
"Greetings!" Jalan shouted again. ((Even though I know how he actually looks, every time Jalan says 'Greetings!' I envision those little green guys from Toy Story saying it)) Radu had contented himself with just placing his hands over his ears. "Are you the leader of this ship?"  
  
Goddard was slightly shocked, but nodded. ((Because questions like this never come upon a STARDOG COMMANDER EVER!!))  
  
"Wonderful!" Jalan cried, joyously. ((Yippee!)) Suzee noticed that the female, Mayana, had placed her hands over her ears, just as Radu had. ((Suzee wasn't getting enough play-time, I guess.)) "We must trade!" Jalan continued. ((Hey, that's not suspicious at all, Jalan!))  
  
Goddard snapped out of his shock. "Wait, what?" He shook his head. "Who are you guys?" Obviously, the Commander was more frazzled than he seemed; he knew better than to use slang in front of another species… they could take it the wrong way. ((Using the word 'guys' in front of alien species may cause an interstellar war. Goddard's war with Reaver was actually started when Reaver unthinkingly referred to Goddard as 'boy'. Shh! Also, I hate the word 'frazzled'.))  
  
However, Jalan seemed overjoyed at the question. ((OMIGUH I LOVE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT MYSELF!)) "We are the Elvians, good sir!" he piped. ((Jalan is also an extra from a Charles Dickens novel)) "We wish to trade with you. Do you have a standard trandsmogrification cable?" ((I specifically remember not actually knowing what 'transmogrification' meant-and yes, that is a D in 'transmogrification'. Yay spelling-but I wrote the word anyway because it sounded all future-y.))  
  
"Well, yeah, but why-" ((Why is Goddard so speechless? What the hell kind of Commander doesn't know how to deal with alien encounters?))  
  
"Excellent!" With that, Jalan punched a button on his console and before the space cases eyes, ((Omiguh, the possession-punctuation monster has ALSO attacked!)) a large box appeared. It seemed to be tightly sealed, and Radu was looking at it intently. ((Hey, can you guess what's in the box? Ooh! Ooh! And can you guess who the love-interest of the Mary-Sue is gonna be? Can ya? I'll give you a hint—INTENTLY!)) Goddard retained his confused look. "What-?" ((Why is it that Jalan can send something-a la Star Trek, no less-without the Christa's permission? WHAT KIND OF FIREWALL DOES THE CHRISTA HAVE??))  
  
Immediately, Jalan's face dropped from 'annoyingly cheerful' to 'bluntly relieved.' "Well," he said, much quieter, so that Radu had to take his hands off his ears to hear him at normal volume. ((hits herself with a dictionary QUIETER IS NOT A WORD!)) "Thank Smorf that's over with." ((Smorf = God. No. Seriously. I'm JUST that creative.)) He turned back to Goddard. ((Where was he looking before?)) "When you open the box and get it to stay in the same room with you, open this message." ((What message? Oh! The one you sent through the Christa's crappy Firewall, along with the box!)) He suddenly grinned, and behind him the female waved cheekily. "'Bye!" ((I am apparently from Britain. I say 'cheekily' and drink tea.))  
  
With that the ship went into hyperspace ((How the hell did it go into hyperspace so fast? What IS hyperspace? WHY WAS I USING ANDROMEDA REFERENCES IN AN SC FIC??)) and left the Christa and its crew nothing to do but open the box. ((They couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, could do NOTHING until the box was opened!)) Ms. Davenport, luckily, had managed to stay conscious throughout the ordeal but was on the verge of losing it, and sat down in a chair while the others continued to examine the box. ((At the time, I congratulated myself on remembering this little bit of Ms. D information. Now I'm like, 'well, DUH.')) Bova kept his distance. "Whatever's in there is probably gonna kill us," he said with his usual sense of morbidity. ((Lame example of pessimism. He could have had so many better predictions)) Rosie turned on him with her cheerful face and said happily, "Oh come on, Bova, how bad could it be? I'm sure it will be something great!" ((Got Rosie dead-on, though. HEY! Look at me seperate the dialogue into seperate paragraphs!))  
  
Suzee shook her head. "Then why were those guys so happy to be rid of it?"  
  
Harlan rubbed his hands together. "Open first, ask questions later." ((I swear, both Suzee and Harlan's lines must have been thought up while thinking of the theme song. 'Harlan Band leaps before he looks, Suzee's smarter than a million books' etc.))  
  
Goddard stopped him with his hand before Harlan could get too close. ((Er.. what else would Goddard stop him with? O.O! Why haven't I explained where everyone is standing??)) "Hold it, Harlan. That's not exactly the best philosophy." ((I can't imagine Goddard saying this. Ever. ..Well, maybe if he was making fun of Ms. Davenport)) He turned to Radu. "Anything in there we should know about before opening it?" ((You'd think Radu would come forward himself if he knew anything..))  
  
Radu looked confused. "Well, I think we might have to worry about an 'anyone.' ((Guess not!)) I can hear breathing, but it sounds like it's asleep." He glanced up at the others. "Why would a species send us a person?" ((This sentence is so stupid, I won't even dignify it with an insult.))  
  
Bova shrugged. "He's probably a murderer they couldn't get rid of, so they rendered him unconscious and unloaded him onto the first ship they found with a transmogrification cable. Ow!" Suzee had leaned over and pinched him on the arm. ((Decent line from Bova. It cuts about a hundred times worse when I butcher Bova's character than anyone else's.))  
  
Goddard sighed. "Well, no use letting it suffocate. Let it out, Radu." Radu nodded and stepped toward it. He hooked his fingers under the lid and heaved. It came off easily. Too easily, in fact. All four sides fell off as he pulled the lid off, revealing a small girl lying on the box's base. ((As I said, this is blatant Mary-Sue. I've always been mega-tall and I had this urge to be freakishly short. So, as opposed to making Radu taller, as is the norm, I kept him at Kristian Ayre's height-something like 5'4"-and had my Mary-Sue be super-short, too.)) As the sides fell, she stretched and sighed contentedly, as if just waking up. ((Hmm.. could that be because.. SHE WAS??)) She sat up, still stretching and opened her eyes. Radu could hear her heart race as she found herself in the middle of a small group of strangers. ((Oooh, mystical heart-beat-connection between the attacker and the victim-I mean the Mary-Sue and Radu. Yeah.)) She jumped up and backed towards the wall. "Oh," she whispered loud enough for Radu to hear. "Oh, this is very not good." Louder, she addressed the rest of them. "H-hi. I, uh, I-I was just, um, going now and, um, yeah, so…um…" ((Hey kids! Mary-Sue comes with Magick Stuttering ACTION!)) She slammed into the wall, as she had not been looking where she was going. She turned her head slightly to see what was in her way and her eyes got wider. (('Got wider'. This is embarassing.)) "Oh, look at that," she said in another whisper. "A wall. H-how, um, convenient for me t-to find a wall here when obviously, what I n-need is to escape." She laughed nervously and continued backing across the wall. All of a sudden she screamed softly and disappeared. ((How do you 'scream softly'?)) She had reached one of the jumptubes and had tumbled down it. Radu raced over to it to see where she was headed, but she was already gone. ((Because Radu is concerned for her. Of course. Nyeeeargh. Also, longest paragraph EVAR.))  
  
He turned back to the others and uttered a simple, "Uh-oh." ((I never actually explain why this is an 'uh-oh' situation. Maybe he just realized that I'd be subjecting him to contact with a Mary-Sue for-at least-twenty more stories.))  
  
((This is prior to learning how to do page-breaks. And I still haven't mastered the art of chapters.))  
  
Screaming, the girl slid through a long tube until she finally smacked into the ground. She did a backwards somersault and landed on her feet. She silently congratulated herself for studying gymnastics, and flexibility classes. ((Because I had to quit gymnastics when I got too tall, and was fat and unflexible. Later on, when you get to know her culture, you'll be thinking, 'Why the hell does she take classes??' I'm sorry. Really.)) She slowly stood and looked at her surroundings. She was in a corridor of some sort, ((Because there are varying forms of corridors.)) and had no idea where she was or who those other people had been. All she knew was that she had been stolen from her home and had woken up here. She glanced down at herself and sighed. She was still in her pajamas, which consisted of a shirt with small straps and long, comfy drawstring pants. ((I.E. tank top. But aliens don't have words like 'tank' and 'top'.)) Lady would never have let anyone see her wearing these and usually insisted that she wear the silky slip that had been provided for her, ((First clue that the Mary-Sue is going to be one of those 'omiguh, pity me, I've been sexually abused' sort of Mary-Sues.)) but she felt more comfortable in these, and besides, she and Lady never had the same sense of…well, anything. ((YEEAY run-on sentences! In later stories, her personality will show that she never would have disobeyed 'the Lady' and putting her in actual pajamas as opposed to lingerie was just so that I could have a better Mary-Sue than VampKestrel's 'Ariel'. Which I didn't, but hey, I can dream.)) She sighed again and prepared herself to look around her alien surroundings. She hated to poke around things that didn't belong to her, but she needed to get back home before Lady found she was missing and arranged an interstellar war. ((WHY would she start an interstellar war??)) She pulled her hat out of her pocket and jammed it on her head. ((That actually sounds kind of painful.)) Lady had also wanted to burn that but the girl had hidden it before Lady could find it. ((Another point for the fact that the Mary-Sue would never disobey 'the Lady'. I could at least be CONSISTENT when writing bullshit..)) Smiling to herself, she jammed her hands into her pockets and prepared to look around. ((JAM! JAMJAMJAMJAMJAM!))  
  
((Omiguh, the page-break isn't imaginary! It's invisible! There's a.. oh, wait, it IS imaginary!))  
  
"Where is she, Rosie?" ((Rosie knows everything.))  
  
Rosie scanned her screen until she found the tiny little dot wandering aimlessly around the ship. ((Because the Christa planted a GPS dot on the Mary-Sue before she was set free.)) "Just outside the game room, Commander." ((By the way, with exception to this story, throughout the series, I never mention a game room EVER AGAIN.)) She looked up and made a small smile. ((Out of PLAY-DOH!)) "She doesn't seem to be doing anything except drifting around the halls. I think she's lost."  
  
"Well, duh, Rosie," Suzee said, making a face at her bunkmate. "Of course she's lost. She has no idea where she is and she's never been on the Christa before." ((Suzee = bitch)) She turned to Goddard. "You want us to go and get her?"  
  
"Yes," he answered immediately. ((As opposed to giving it the long, thought-out process it deserved?)) As everyone set off to the doors, Davenport stood up. ((Was she sitting down?)) "Hold it!" she called. ((Ms. Davenport would never say 'hold it'.)) The kids came back reluctantly. She crossed her arms and stared all of them in the face. ((As opposed to the FOREHEAD)) "We do not want to scare her any more than she has been already. Therefore, I think that only 3 of you should go." ((And 'therefore' I switch between numerals and actually writing out the numbers. Yay, consistency!)) Rosie and Bova immediately slumped, knowing that because they seemed younger, they would be left behind. "I think," Ms. Davenport continued, "That Radu, Rosie, and Bova should go." Rosie and Bova's eyes snapped up, and Harlan and Suzee's jaws dropped. "What?!" ((Radu has no reaction because Radu is really a very attractive cyborg. Shh!))  
  
Davenport nodded. "That's right. Mr. Band, Suzee, ((I had problems with this throughout the series-and still do now, actually. Both adults constantly refer to Mr. Band, Mr. Bova, and Mr. Radu, but they never address any of the girls formally. The closest they get is saying 'Catalina' as opposed to 'Cat'.)) you two will most likely just make her more nervous into coming here. ((This sentence HURTS.)) Miss Ianni is going to help her see that we mean her no harm, and Mr. Radu is going to help her." (('Ms. Ianni proves the aforementioned point-it sounds weird.))  
  
Suzee was still shocked and angry. ((Hmm.. maybe Suzee's more interested in the Mary-Sue than I thought..)) "Well, what about Bova? What could he possibly do to help?"  
  
Davenport smiled at the Uranusian. "He'll help convince her that we are more afraid of her than she is of us." ((Quite possibly the only good line I have ever given Ms. Davenport.)) No one could argue with that. ((This is BEGGING me for a separate paragraph to call its own!))  
  
((Where's the page break? Um.. um.. LOOK OVER THERE! runs away))  
  
"Hear anything, Radu?"  
  
Radu couldn't believe that Rosie had asked that question. If it had been anyone else, he would have snapped, ((Radu does not snap. Period. It just doesn't happen.)) but it was his optimistic, cheerful, always-gets-you-up-when-you're-down best friend that had asked, and that meant that it was to be tolerated. "Yes. She's about 8 corridors down. ((Omiguh, I 3 NUMERALS!)) If we're quiet, we could probably get within ear shot and talk to her." He turned to look at Rosie. "By the way, what are we going to say to her?" ((My question is, why didn't Davenport or Goddard brief them on what to say? WHERE IS YOUR STARDOG TRAINING, COMMANDER?))  
  
Rosie blanched. ((You know, I'm looking up the definition right now and I'm 99.99% sure I didn't have a fucking CLUE what the word 'blanched' meant.)) "I-I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead yet. What do you think, Bova?"  
  
Bova rolled his eyes. "Who cares? She's probably a spy for the Spung sent out here to kill us all. I'm going to die on an empty stomach." ((Why is Bova so worried about the Spung? There are so many better things that could kill the crew..))  
  
"Bova, we just had lunch half an hour ago!"  
  
"Yeah," Bova replied, shaking his head sadly. "A whole half hour." ((I will use this joke at least ONE HUNDRED TIMES during the first TEN stories!))  
  
Radu rolled his eyes and continued concentrating on the sound of the girl. He could hardly hear the sound of her feet on the floor, which meant two things: One, she was incredibly light, ((I.E., I was fat and wished I wasn't.)) and Two, ((Why, yes, it IS Random-Capitalization Day!)) Radu had been around loud people too long and would have to start practicing hearing things in quiet rooms again. ((I don't think I can convey how impossible I think it is for Radu's hearing to deaden THAT much.)) He had never had this problem on Andromeda where everyone spoke and did things at normal volume as opposed to these aliens and how they always had to shout and bang and hurt his sensitive Andromedan ears. ((One, Radu didn't grow up on Andromeda, because his people migrated from there a few thousand years before he was born. YAY, RESEARCH. Two, his complaining about loud people hints that the Mary-Sue will be able to hear at the EXACT SAME pitch as Radu can. Huzzah, convenience!)) He remembered his first day at Starcademy where the noises and sounds of the school had frightened and almost deafened him.  
  
"Radu!" Rosie was saying, forcefully. ((Rosie doesn't know HOW to say things forcefully..))  
  
He turned to the little Mercurian. "Huh?"  
  
She laughed. "Don't tell me you didn't hear me."  
  
He scratched his head. "Um…" ((Radu no hear pink thing. Radu too busy think about food-stuffs. Radu go sleep now.))  
  
She laughed again and even Bova's solemn face broke into a grin. ((LIES! Bova does not grin under TORTURE!)) Radu smiled too. "I'm sorry, Rosie. What did you say to me?" ((I can't put new dialogue into its own paragraph, but I'll be damned if Radu's speech is confined to a single block of words!))  
  
"I asked you if you were sure this was the right way."  
  
He was about to laugh again until he realized that she hadn't made a joke. Realizing that he had been too lost in his thoughts, he concentrated his hearing on the sounds on breathing ((Yes, the sounds 'on' breathing. I am pained by the implications of that sentence.)) and footfalls until he found the girls'. ((All eighty-nine of them!)) He looked around confused. ((Omiguh, the punctuation monster has STRUCK AGAIN!)) Were his ears playing tricks on him? He didn't think so. ((Those last two sentences hurt me so bad..)) Radu looked around, focusing on the sound and finally zoned in on it. He stood on his toes to reach the top of a ceiling panel and yanked. ((Radu is 5'4". The Christa has some fucking LOW ceilings.)) The girl came crashing to the floor. ((How the hell did she get up there?)) She sat in a heap and finally untangled herself. Radu was shocked. She had to untangle herself because she had a head of dark red hair that was even longer than Radu's own. ((One, I was going to make fun of her 'head of dark red hair', but then I figured it was too easy. Two, Why, yes, Radu, other people DO grow hair! Three, at the time, I wanted to dye my hair red. Ironically, it turned red all by itself about a year later.)) When she had finally done that, she stood and Radu found that she was only slightly shorter than him, and her hair actually came to her knees. ((In about a month, it'll come down to her ankles. Because hair grows that fast. Yup.)) She had purple eyes; like Suzee did when she was in someone's head, except that this color was more subdued, leaning towards a dark blue than a neon purple. ((Because she is obviously better than Suzee, whose eyes give people seizures.)) He also noticed that she was wearing a loose, white hat, which hid her forehead and the tops of her ears. She looked like a human girl of about Suzee or Harlan's age. She was also wearing pajamas. ((Omiguh, I love transitional sentences.)) She didn't run away again but stood looking Radu in the eye, with a look that wasn't so much defiance as acceptance. ((Can we say 'tortured soul'? SURE WE CAN!)) She was beautiful. ((I want that observation to die.)) Radu blushed as she stared him in the eyes. ((The awesome power of a Mary-Sue is both awesome and embarrassing..))  
  
The 3 space cases were speechless. ((Omiguh, numerals!! And why are they speechless? Her beauty is so great, it has even affected Rosie and Bova!)) After looking at them each in turn, the girl turned her eyes downcast, and whispered, "What do you want?" ((HELLO!! YOU are on THEIR ship! They want you OFF! ..Or they would have, if this didn't suck.)) She was biting her lip and looked extremely nervous. ((Omiguh, it's female Radu. I WONDER WHO SHE IS PAIRED WITH!))  
  
Rosie's Mercurian instincts took over. "Oh, we don't want anything. ((Dammit, Rosie, you blew your chance to get her off the ship!)) Really! My name's Rosie, and this is Bova and Radu. We don't want to hurt you or anything, but the rest of our crew is in the command room and we need for you to meet them too. ((Why? Shove her out the airlock!)) I'm sorry we startled you before, because I would have freaked out too if I had just woken up from a nap and been surrounded by 7 ((NUMERALS!)) strangers, and I'm really sorry that you fell down the jumptubes because those can hurt if you don't use them correctly. Did you land okay? Did you fall hard? Oh! How do you feel after falling from the ceiling? Does anything hurt? I should take you to the med lab and look you over. Come on!" ((I stab Rosie. And this little speech is in-character, too. I ALWAYS want to stab Rosie..))  
  
She was about to take the girl's hand and lead her away when Radu put a hand on Rosie's shoulder. ((Radu is in tune with all Mary-Sues. It's part of his psionic bond that he shares with Elmira. Who? Oh, yeah, there was a Spung in Space Cases somewhere, wasn't there..?)) The girl was staring at Rosie with a strange expression on her face. After a minute, she stopped biting her lip, and looked down at her feet (which were bare). ((This is important, WHY?)) When she looked up again she was smiling, shyly. "Hi, Rosie," she whispered a little louder. ((This is just awkward.)) "My name is Lokaia." ((NOTE TO EVERYONE! Never go by the name of your Mary-Sue. I literally looked at this and thought, "Whoa! She has the same nickname as I do!" I am so sad..)) Rosie grinned broadly and the girl returned that with a stronger smile of her own. ((I keep using 'er' words incorrectly.)) Her eyes flickered to Radu and Bova. To Radu's surprise, Bova stepped forward and extended his hand. "Hi," he said. "My name's Bova." ((Ahhhhh, Bova, WHY?? Do not tell me the Mary-Sue has infected you as well!!))  
  
The girl looked at his hand, clearly confused. With a tiny shrug, she stuck her hand out too, about a foot away from Bova's and smiled again. (Fern Gully reference. I hated the chick in that, too. It was like, 'My God, what'd you save him for? Just let the fucker die..'))  
  
Radu laughed, and she looked at him, startled. She bit her lip again and flushed, realizing that she had just made a social blunder. Radu blushed too, and extended his hand a foot away from her own and smiled. "I like your way better." When she laughed quietly, he introduced himself. She smiled again, which caused him to blush which caused her to blush. ((THIS IS THE MOST RETARDED THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN! If I never see the word 'blush' again, it will be too soon!))  
  
"So," Rosie interrupted, almost skipping from excitement. "Will you come with us to command?"  
  
Lokaia grinned broadly at Rosie's actions and nodded her head. ((As opposed to her pancreas)) Rosie grabbed her hand and Bova's and pulled them along. Radu followed along. ((You can think of this as symbolism to Radu being such a sheep if you want, but I wasn't that deep. He just needed to be doing something.))  
  
((OMIGUH THE PAGE BREAK-eh, forget it, you know there isn't one.))  
  
"Okay, so I was thinking that we would just take the long way up to command considering you had a bad experience with the jumptubes before, right?" ((Why are you asking her? She doesn't know. And taking the long way there is lame because: One. Its LONG and people are waiting for you and Two. The jumptubes aren't that complicated-she'll learn. Of course, if she had gone by the jumptubes, she couldn't have had the following OH-SO-TOUCHING conversation with Radu.)) Rosie was running through her plan as they walked along. The hallway had gotten narrower as they had walked, ((Of course it did. The Christa has rearranged herself so that everyone is paired off into couples. But it's not Rosie and Lokaia, OH NO! And it's not Radu and Bova, OH N.. aww, that would have been cute..)) so now Bova and Rosie were in front, with Radu and Lokaia tagging along behind. The girl shrugged nervously, and bit her lip again. She tugged at her hat and pulled on her pants. ((Okay, wait. Is she nervous, or horny?))  
  
"Nervous?" Radu whispered, knowing the answer. ((Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up, Radu.)) Lokaia gave him a broad grin. "I'm glad you're talking quieter now," she whispered. ((Another tricky 'er' word.)) "Why is everyone talking so loud?" ((HINT HINT))  
  
Radu looked at her startled. "What do you mean, loud?"  
  
She gave him the same look back. "Did I fail my alien culture class that badly or are you Andromedan?" ((Later, it will BLATANTLY STATE that female Elvians were not educated, save for.. ya know.. 'female stuff' like how to please males and etc, because, YES, I am that lame.))  
  
He smiled at her and nodded. He pulled his hair back slightly to reveal his ears, but that only made the girl seem more confused. "Then you can hear much better than Rosie and Bova?"  
  
He grinned again. "Yes, of course." ((Insecure girl = confidant Radu, I guess. Now that I think of it, Space Cases never introduced an insecure girl into the show that Radu could react to, so my guess is as good as theirs.))  
  
She shook her head. "Then I am very confused."  
  
"Oh, you guys!" Rosie shouted. ((me:: "Hmm, how can I bring up the point that Lokaia can hear well? I know! A random statement from Rosie that will never be explained!" Oh yeah. I'm the best.))  
  
Radu clasped his ears. He had been so intent on Lokaia's whisper-conversation that Rosie's sudden shout had nearly deafened him. "Oops," Rosie whispered, abashed. "Sorry, guys." ((Rosie's dialogue is not important enough to deserve its own paragraph. The word 'guys' used twice, and so close together, pisses me off.))  
  
Before Radu could answer, Lokaia whispered back, "That's okay." He turned to see her remove her hat and massage her large, pointed, upswept ears. ((I have no idea why I expected this to be a surprise. The hat disappears with a magick puff of sparkle dust after this, by the way.))  
  
((o/PAAAAGE BREEEEEAK!o/))  
  
"Well, um…" ((Every new 'chapter' thingy must begin with unexplained dialogue. MANDATORY!))  
  
Commander Goddard was having a feeling that he didn't get very often; speechlessness. ((Commander Goddard slept through his STARDOG lessons on how to deal with alien encounters. Shame, shame.)) He and the others stared at the Elvian girl until Goddard noticed how uncomfortable she looked. He figured this was mostly in part to the fact that Harlan was practically drooling on her, ((Because she is more beautiful than a million nuclear weapons, and more deadly than a billion flowers. Or something.)) and Suzee was looking angry at her. ((Competition, get it? Kill me, please.)) He walked over and led the girl ('Lokaia,' he reminded himself) ((Goddard suffers from short-term memory loss. It's a sensitive subject. Don't bring it up)) away from Harlan and Suzee and closer to himself and Ms. Davenport. "I-I guess we should let you look at the message then," he stammered on, ((Commander Goddard does not KNOW HOW to stammer!)) glancing at Davenport who looked just as lost as he was.  
  
"Thelma?"   
  
She appeared directly behind Goddard. "Yes, Commander?" she asked, making him jump. ((I've never been able to successfully write Thelma. I tend to just forget about her for a while. Sad day. I love Thelma, I just can't write anything for her.))  
  
Goddard sighed, realizing that he would never get used to the android. "Can you bring up the message the Elvians left us?" ((If you want to torture yourself, look through the rest of the fanfiction in this series. Goddard will repeatedly 'sigh, realizing that he would never get used to the android'.))  
  
"Of course, Commander." Thelma closed her eyes, communicating with the Christa. ((As opposed to blinking, I guess.))  
  
The viewscreen changed from blank space to the command room of Jalan, but instead of Jalan, the female, Mayana was there. ((THIS IS WHERE IT GETS MESSED UP! This 'message' was supposedly sent to the Christa before Lokaia's little 'box' was ever opened. So how could they send a LIVE MESSAGE?? Stab me, please.))  
  
Lokaia looked confused and surprised to see her there. "Lady? You knew I was here?" ((That's right, folks! Not one, but TWO adjectives!))  
  
The Elvian woman nodded, looking at Lokaia in what could only be called contempt. "Yes, Lokaia, of course I knew. In fact, my Lord and I dropped you off there." Lokaia's jaw dropped and Radu could hear her heart beat faster. ((Oh, look, Radu is connected to her in a way no one else is.. hmmmm..)) Mayana hardly looked concerned. "Enyama, ((This word isn't explained until the end of the fic. I also found no reason to put it in italics or brackets or anything. Push me off a cliff, please.)) you are hardly heiress material and if I could change my decision, I would. ((THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! The Mary-Sue is royalty! Can I see a show of hands on who is surprised??)) However, the law is binding, as you well know. The only way to get out of this is to have you killed." At the last sentence, Lokaia paled and looked sick. Mayana sighed. "Yes, I know, I know. I did consider it, but my Lord said it would be too suspicious and the Elders probably wouldn't like it. So, the only way to be rid of this was to be rid of you. ((Wasn't that implied in the 'I wanted to kill you dead' statement?)) So, my Lord and I had you removed from your room and placed you in the box to be sent to a remote location. ((The Mary-Sue is an elusive creature, and extreme forms of trickery must be used to catch it.)) This ship just happened to be the first we found. We had hoped that exposing you to different cultures that were stronger, smarter, and better than you would change your attitude towards your people. ((Omiguh, I'm laughing so hard I'm almost crying. Mayana doesn't seem to realize that she's insulting Elvians as a whole here!)) Are your ears sore?" After this speech, Lokaia could only nod. "Yes," Mayana said knowingly. "We had assumed that they would. My Lord had to scream for the aliens to hear them when we first encountered them. ((And yet, Mayana is speaking at normal human/Rigelian volume for some reason..)) Enyama, you will come back when we have found a suitable heir to my Lord. We will tell the people now that you have been secretly betrothed for years, and that should take away some of the embarrassment from the empire. ((Omiguh, women are oppressed and have arranged marriages I MAY CRY)) I will inform you when we find a suitable husband for you, and in the meantime, you will be here. You will not leave this ship until I tell you to, do you understand me." It wasn't really a question. ((This isn't really a statement.))  
  
Lokaia was staring at her feet again with a shocked look on her face. ((How can you tell? She's looking at her feet!)) All of a sudden, she looked up and into the eyes of Mayana. ((Omiguh, not the EYES!)) "Lady, what do you mean I'll be here?"  
  
Mayana gave her a look that said plainly how stupid she thought the girl was. ((Though, when I actually get to describing the culture of her people, Mayana should be dumber than Lokaia ever was.)) "You will stay on that ship so that I will be able to contact you at all times."  
  
Lokaia shook her head. "But, Lady, I can't ask these people to put up with me for as long as you're asking."  
  
"Oh, I knew you wouldn't do it, Enyama, so I'm doing it for you. If you leave the ship, we will find you and throw you in jail. ((Er.. if you throw her in jail, won't that ALSO embarrass the empire?)) Stay on the ship, for your own protection. And if that isn't enough incentive, then we will go after this crew on this ship too. If not for yourself, then for them." She looked behind her as another Elvian entered the room. "My masseuse is here, now. ((TRANSLATION:: I couldn't think of a good reason for Mayana to cut the call so I gave her a MASSEUSE! It pains me..)) I will contact you soon. If you run into real trouble, simply show them your mark." ((This mark is described TWICE in the entire series. Once when I'm describing what the Mary-Sue looks like, and again when she's just sort of walking around going, 'Look at me be royal, minions.' This was around the time when I was considering a tattoo on the back of my hand.)) Without another word, the Elvian woman broke the connection, leaving Lokaia standing alone in the middle of the room, staring blankly at the empty viewscreen.  
  
((Blank space = page break))  
  
"Oh, we're going to have so much fun!" Rosie gushed. ((SPLASH!))  
  
She and Suzee were leading Lokaia to the girls' bunk where she would be staying with them. Lokaia still looked a little nervous, which could have either been because of Mayana or because Suzee was still glaring at her. (('either been because of' sounds EXTREMELY awkward.)) Rosie was still skipping around when they reached the bunk room. She went to an empty bed, and pulled out one of the uniforms that the other space cases wore. She handed it to Lokaia. ((One, why isn't Space Cases ever capitalized. Two, boy, do I love not having transition words! They really do just muck a sentence up!)) "We didn't think you'd want to be running around in your pajamas all the time."  
  
Lokaia smiled. "Thank you, Rosie," she whispered. She then bit her lip, cleared her throat and said at shouting volume, "Thank you," and took the clothes. ((She had to bite her lip because Radu might be looking, and he must know how shy she is at all times. And I never clarify whether she's doing Elvian 'shouting volume' or human/Rigelian 'shouting volume'.))  
  
Rosie grinned. "You can use the bathroom to change in." Lokaia nodded and headed inside. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a normal Elvian girl in height, her purple eyes were more or less normal, her red hair was normal. But she wasn't normal. She was 17 years old and she wasn't betrothed. ((Just in case you didn't get it before, WOMEN ARE OPPRESSED. Thank you for your time. Back to your regularly scheduled bull shit.)) If it didn't happen by the time Jalan left this world, the Elvian people would be without a leader. Lokaia had tried to convince Jalan to let her lead them if he was without an heir, but all that got her was punishment. ((For such a wimpy girl-who is beaten all the time because she's a woman, omiguh-she stands up to authority a lot. Can we say 'out of character?' SURE WE CAN!)) She shuddered at the memory. Her people were set in their ways and it would be difficult to change them. The best outcome was to hope that Mayana could find a suitable heir. Lokaia shuddered again at the thought of being married to someone she had never met before. She didn't want to be married, probably why she had always been relieved when Lord and Lady failed in their attempts to get someone to do the job. ((Okay. Let's take a moment to process this. Lokaia, supposedly, is a model little female Elvian, yes? Or so I allude to throughout the series. So WHY does she try to convince people of shit she doesn't understand? And WHY doesn't somebody want to be 'ruler' of these people? Because the chick they have to marry is talkative? Backslap her a few times and be done with it. I.E., this is such bull shit.)) Lokaia finished changing and looked at herself in the mirror. She now wore the same gray uniform as the rest of the crew. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders and down her back, getting in her way. She didn't want to call attention to her ears, but also didn't want to trip on her hair. She pulled it all up in a high ponytail, so the hair only came up to her rear. ((I specifically remember spending twenty minutes debating how to describe the girl's butt. I still hate describing that portion of anatomy because there are a lot of words for it, but not too many of them are acceptable. Most are just laughable.)) Lokaia nodded to herself, satisfied. As she smoothed her hair she noticed the mark on her hand. She brought it up in front of her face. It was covered the back of her right hand, a white mark called a triquatra. It symbolized the unity of her people as the three groups: public, royalty, and elders. It proved her nobility on her planet. Lokaia always tried to hide it but somehow they always found it and her. ((LOOK IT'S THE MARK! The triquetra-which I didn't even spell correctly in this-is my favorite symbol, and I sort of perverted the religious meaning of the damn thing by putting it in this story. Oh well. Oh, and Lokaia would never go out by herself. She'd always have escorts or something. The 'mark' is not the only thing that proves her 'nobility', the wench.))  
  
She opened the door and Rosie rushed over. "Oh, look, Suzee, it fits!" Lokaia liked her. ((Lokaia like. Lokaia scratch arm. Lokaia eat fleas.)) She was very nice and didn't seem to mind Lokaia's nervous behavior.  
  
Suzee rolled her eyes. "Of course, it fits, Rosie. When we got ours they fit, too." Now, Suzee was a little different. Her manner towards to Lokaia could be best described as annoyance or anger. She flounced out of the room leaving Lokaia with Rosie. ((XD the word 'flounce' makes me happy.))  
  
Rosie grabbed her hand again, with her small gloved one. "Come on! Classes are cancelled so we can show you around. Everyone's in the game room now. ((Look! The mysterious game room! This name was later abandoned for the ACTUAL NAME which was 'the team room'. Step on me, please.)) We can teach you minbar chess!" ((I never bothered learning how to play actual chess, so looking into minbar chess was never a big priority either.)) She yanked the Elvian girl along behind her.   
  
((If you see a page break here, you are clearly dreaming.))  
  
"So, Elfie, what's with the long hair?" ((Unexplained dialogue? Why, that must be a page break up there!))  
  
Lokaia looked up at the human boy with a startled expression. Elfie? "What?"  
  
He glanced up from his game of "chess" with the Uranusian boy. "Your hair. That other chick, Mana, had really short hair. You don't. What's the deal?" ((My version of Harlan needs to have excrutiating pain. Immediately.))  
  
The Yensidian girl replied without even bothering to look up from her compupad. "Harlan, it's called style. Not everything has to have a cultural explanation. She probably just likes her hair long." ((Suzee = sense. Ironically, much as I hated the girl, Suzee's looking better here than Lokaia. Maybe she's just pissed that a NEW Mary-Sue is taking her place..))  
  
Lokaia smiled, happy to leave it at that, until she noticed that everyone was looking at her, waiting for the real answer. She bit her lip. "Um…" ((Omiguh, Lokaia! Radu is looking! BITE YOUR LIP! Actually, I did bite my lip a lot during this stage in my life. No idea why, but I remember giving the trait to her.))  
  
Radu heard her heart beat faster. ((Radu seems to spend an awful lot of his time listening to her heart.)) "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," he said sympathetically. ((If you take the 'sym' off of that last word, you will get EXACTLY how Radu sounds right now.)) When he had first come, they crew ((Yes, THEY CREW!)) had asked him many questions about Andromedans that he was uncomfortable answering as well. ((Um.. no they didn't. Not until It's My Birthday Too, a few months after they had been on the Christa. And it wasn't so much 'questions' as it was 'blatant attacks on your integrity'.))  
  
She laughed quietly and scratched the back of her neck. ((Her lip is bleeding now from chewing on it so much.)) "It's not like I'm not supposed to, it's just sort of, um… embarrassing."  
  
Bova perked up. "Embarrassing? Tell us!" ((At the time, this seemed like something Bova would do. Now I want to beat myself for tarnishing the good name of Bova.))  
  
Lokaia grinned and cleared her throat, looking a little uncomfortable. ((Neck is raw from the scratching.)) "Uh… when an Elvian girl is betrothed, she cuts her hair. She's not allowed to do it before, and after she is betrothed and/or married, ((I love how it says and/or. I can just hear her going, 'and slash or'.)) she has to keep her hair as short as Mayana had it." She bit her lip again, eyes downcast. ((Lip's feeling better. The hair thing, which I forgot to explain earlier, was because I was currently trying to grow my hair out. This became a constant annoyance for me, later on in the series. Eventually, I was going to hack all her hair off, but I didn't get that far before I discontinued the series.)) "I'm not betrothed yet."  
  
The others waited. "Wait," Harlan said after a while. "You mean that's it? You're not engaged so your hair's long? What's so embarrassing about that?"  
  
Lokaia glanced up at him, and the others. "Oh, that's right. You guys don't know about Elvian culture." ((Lokaia should not say 'guys' when referring to other people. It sounds weird.)) When the crew shook their heads, ((ALL FORTY-SEVEN OF THEM!)) she visibly relaxed. "An Elvian female is betrothed by the age of 3, and that's a late bloomer. I'm 17." ((NUMERALS! Also, at the time, I thought seventeen was a really neat age. This is stupid but, as I was fourteen at the time, so was I.)) She shrugged. "I'm not the most desirable female on Miseth." Everyone gave her a confused look. "My planet," she clarified. ((I actually don't remember how I came up with this name, but its has nothing to do with Goddard. I think I did what I usually do when making names up and looked at a word and rearranged the letters. Smorf = From.))  
  
"You mean," Harlan began, "that you're NOT the most desirable girl on your planet?" ((Those were her EXACT WORDS, idiot.)) Radu could hear his heart racing, just at the thought of a planet full of girls more beautiful than Lokaia. Radu found that hard to believe, personally. ((Of course he does. LOKAIA'S BEAUTY GIVES YOU SEIZURES NYEEARGH))  
  
Suzee reached over and smacked Harlan over the head. "Moron! That's not what she meant." ((Yay, Suzee!!))  
  
Lokaia looked oblivious to what they were talking about, so Radu whispered an explanation. ((Well, well, aren't we cozy??)) She flushed the color of her hair and clarified. "I'm not like the other females. I have different ideas on how our government should be run, how our families should interact, and so on and so on," she said with a wave of her hand. ((One, she would NOT have ideas about these things, because she would not be educated enough to really understand the government. Two, nonchalant is not a mood Lokaia can pull off.))  
  
"So, were Mana and Jaln your parents?" Bova asked. ((O.O I don't even know how Bova would PRONOUNCE 'Jaln'.))  
  
Lokaia fought down laughter, reminding herself that these people didn't know about her culture. ((The laughter is strong in this one.. be contained, it must..)) "Oh, no. Mayana and Jalan are the Lord and Lady of my people. Sort of like the King and Queen," she informed their blank faces. "I was chosen to be the heiress, but they haven't been able to find a suitable heir, so I'm not betrothed." ((Which makes NO SENSE in what is obviously a patriarchal society, but is actually explained later on in the series.))  
  
"How were you chosen?" Rosie inquired, looking intently at Lokaia.  
  
Lokaia flushed again, and bent her head, mumbling so quietly, Radu couldn't even hear correctly. When the crew turned to him, he shrugged, making them all look shocked and appalled. ((Omiguh, Radu has lost his place as Ship-Elvian-Interpretor!.. that's not spelled right..)) "What?" Rosie asked again.  
  
((Are you ready for the lamest reason ever?)) She sighed, and looked up again. "I was pretty."  
  
Harlan started laughing until he realized that it wasn't a joke. Then he tried to turn it into a cough.  
  
Lokaia made a face and nodded knowingly. ((You know, for someone so shy, she's getting a little too comfortable here!)) "I know. My people don't hold too high of a regard for their Lady. They go for an attractive woman so that Lord prospects want the position. Which would've worked except people already knew how weird I was." ((But they wouldn't have CARED, because they still would have gotten to lay you, idiot female. And no, I don't know if I'm talking to the character or myself. Maybe both.)) She shrugged. "Which is okay with me. I love my people and everything, but I'm not looking forward to being a trophy wife." ((One, why the FUCK do you love your people? Two, you would never have heard the term 'trophy wife' before, because all wives on your planet are, by definition, 'trophy wives'.))  
  
"How old did you say you were again?" Harlan said, with what he must have thought was a winning smile. ((Because if Cat's on Yensid, and Suzee's a bitch, it's time to proposition a new female!))  
  
"I'm 17. I was born in 3028." ((Random number because I was too lazy to sit down and figure out a calendar. Also too lazy to look up the Space Cases 'official year'.))  
  
Radu turned to her, wondering if he had heard correctly (for the first time in his life). "You were born in 800 years?"  
  
Her hands flew up to her mouth. "Oh! Whoops! No, no, that's the Elvian calendar. Which one were you thinking of?" ((Oopsy! I forgot you all aren't Elvian, even though you don't look like me or talk like me or speak my native language or anything!))  
  
"UPP." ((I think I didn't actually know what UPP stood for at this time.))  
  
Her face went blank. "Uh…"  
  
"Earth?"  
  
She nodded. "365 days in the year, right?" ((How the FUCK does she know Earth calendar, and not UPP??? Score one for my imagination, eh?)) At Harlan's nod, she began calculating in her head. "Then that would make me… 11." She looked confused for a moment. "No, wait, 12. Or 11." She looked at Harlan. "11 and ½." ((This was supposed to show that she didn't know math, but you know what? I couldn't figure out my age by another calendar that fast.))  
  
"Hey," Bova said. "You're the same age as Radu." ((How do you know? It was never said on the show! Go me, taking whatever fanfiction I found as actual evidence to the show.))  
  
Lokaia turned to Radu with new interest. "Really? What's the Andromedan calendar?"  
  
"Well-" Radu began.  
  
"I'm sure that this conversation will prove fascinating, but right now your prospects are bleak," Suzee cut in. ((Thank you, Suzee, for cutting into a conversation my tiny brain could never have actually explained. Too lazy to think up any sort of Andromedan calendar. Also, I love Suzee's line there.)) "Can we please talk about something else now?"  
  
"No," Bova said. When the others turned to look at him, he continued. "It's time for dinner."  
  
"No, it's not," Rosie responded. "The bell hasn't even-"  
  
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!  
  
Bova jumped out of his seat and rushed down the hall. The rest of the kids shook their heads ((ALL FORTY-SEVEN OF THEM)) and followed him. Lokaia turned and whispered at Andromedan and Elvian level, "How did he do that?"  
  
Radu shook his head. "We really don't know." ((This was BLATANTLY STOLEN from someone else's fanfiction! While I can't remember whose now, I think it was Queen Azura. I should be shot. And not only for the plagiarism, but also because THERE ARE NO BELLS ON THE CHRISTA! I put a bell in this ONE STORY so that I could steal that bit from Azura!))  
  
((Cat says, 'If you can see a page break, you must be on Yensid with me.'))  
  
iOkay, I don't know where I am. This would be okay if anyone else on this ship knew where I was either./i ((Oh look! Italic HTML! YAY!)) Lokaia was sitting in a round chair, staring out the big window into the big space. ((As opposed to the small window into the small space.)) Lost deep in her thoughts, she almost missed the footfalls of the Andromedan behind her. She smiled to herself, and said in normal volume, "Hi, Radu." ((Also not explained if its Elvian volume or Rigelian volume. Also, just how convenient is it that she and Radu end up alone together, at night?))  
  
She could almost hear him smile. "Hi." ((Your hearing has to be PRETTY DAMN GOOD to hear someone's muscles moving!))  
  
He sat down in the chair next to her and looked out with her. ((Into the smal space.)) After a while he spoke again. "It's really weird speaking at normal volume again. When I'm with everyone else, I just speak loudly, but they think I'm talking quietly. Now I have to get used to normal again."   
  
Lokaia grinned. "That's funny. I have to get used to shouting."  
  
They were silent a little while longer, just staring at the stars. Suddenly a thought occurred to Radu. ((OMIGUH, I AM SHOCKED!)) "Lokaia?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"That woman, Mana?" ((Why can't anyone pronounce this woman's name?))  
  
Lokaia smiled. "Mayana," she corrected gently.  
  
"Yeah, her. She called you Enyama. What does that mean?"  
  
She sighed and crossed her legs underneath her. Without looking away from the stars, she answered his question. "Enyama is an Elvian term that means 'little one' or 'tiny child' or something to that extent." ((At this time I was patronized. A lot. Personal pet peeve.))  
  
Radu nodded. "So, it's like a nickname."  
  
Lokaia made a face. "No, a nickname is Loki or Kai. ((Okay, just to explain real quick. The way that Lokaia's name was created was as follows:: I liked the name Loki, like the god from Norse mythology. I also liked the name Kaia, from the ONE YEAR where I watched Real World on MTV. I had shoes that were brand Lokai. I got very 'uncreative'.)) Enyama is a word used to describe small children. Like ones that aren't betrothed. It's really more of an insult than anything."  
  
"Oh." Silence. ((I love how I think 'Silence' is a statement.)) "Well, I'll just keep it in mind not to call you that, then."  
  
Lokaia smiled. "Thanks."  
  
After a few more minutes, Radu got up. "It's late. I think I'll go to bed. Are you coming?" ((Jeez, Radu, you just MET! You little SLUT!))  
  
Lokaia shook her head. "No. I'll go in a little bit."  
  
Radu shrugged and turned towards the door.  
  
"Radu?" she whispered.  
  
He stopped, waiting. ((Every time I see this, I think of replacing it with 'He stopped, walking'.))  
  
"Thanks."  
  
He smiled, and walked through the doorway. "You're welcome, Loki."  
  
Lokaia smiled to herself. IThen again, being here might not be so bad after all./I ((WHEE! Italics!))  
  
((Behold the page-breaking wonder! BEHOLD!))  
  
"So, what do you think of her?" Elmira asked him. ((I was then, and I am now, really proud of myself for actually keeping Elmira in the fiction. A lot of people, such as my personal favorite-Mera 491-just denied Elmira's existence all-together. Now, granted, I still didn't write with any sort of skill, but I kept Elmira in the fiction, and I kept her and Radu together. This turned my fiction into a MEGA HUGE UBER soap opera until fic five or six when Radu and Elmira split up for an incredibly lame reason. But I DID keep her in! I get points for that!))  
  
Radu shrugged. Well, actually, in his dream he shrugged. He wasn't really there and neither was Elmira. But she did come and visit him from time to time with her powers. "She's very nice. And she reminds me of someone. I just can't think of who." ((Oh, gee, can YOU??))  
  
Elmira smiled. "I know." When Radu looked at her quizzically she continued. "You. She reminds you of you. ((Bravo on those psychic powers, Elmira.)) When you first came to Starcademy and didn't know anyone. When you were thrown into a situation that you had no control over. Rosie thinks so, too. That' s why she relates so well to Lokaia." ((I.E., why Rosie and Radu get along so well, I guess.))  
  
Radu smiled. "Loki." He looked at the sirrola. "Can we trust her?" ((I never did figure out how to spell that word-sirrola. Everyone spells it differently. Ah well.))  
  
Elmira nodded. "Yes, you can trust her. You should actually relate very well to her." ((Hey, Elmira, how the fuck do you know whether or not you can trust her? You've never met her! You're only going by what Radu's saying!))  
  
He cocked his head to her. (('To her' should be taken out. I should be taken out, too… )) "We do have a lot in common, don't we?" ((Gee, you think?))  
  
Elmira gave him a look. "Should I be jealous?"  
  
Radu flushed and Elmira was charmed by his manner. ((LAME!)) "It's getting late. Maybe you should go back to bed."   
  
"Technically, I'm dreaming, aren't I?"  
  
Elmira smiled again. "Technically, yes. But in any case, I have to go. My father will be awake soon. Good night, Radu."  
  
"Good night, Elmira."  
  
((The pain.. is so great right now.. I am in physical pain from doing this. And its not just because my shoulders are numb. .. Okay, a lot of it is because my shoulders are numb, but that's not the only reason, really. Anyway, the end. I just wanted to get over my EXTREMELY EARLY, EXTREMELY HORRIBLE writing. And to prove to Kirin that she's not the only one who wrote shit when she was younger )) 


End file.
